Sad Tears, Happy Tears

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Yesterday, I could have given some serious competition to Cheshire Cat. My incessant grinning caused a lot of amusement to all, and every person I ran into could not help but exclaim how happy I looked. Yes, I was so uncontrollably happy! It felt like I had downed an entire vial of Felix Felicis!

However, yesterday was also the day I experienced a singular profound moment that left me with intense and perhaps irreparable grief.

A close friend and I were meeting after a few days. Not a long time, but long enough for several things to have happened (if that is the kind of chaotic life you have!). I hugged her tight. "I'm so happy! I'm so very happy!". Then with a blink, my lashes turned wet and I swooned like a drunk. I was so happy!

Over time, the two of us had led ourselves to believe that our lives ran parallel. The similarity was uncanny and on some occasions, also very eerie. She smiled at my giddy state. Being surrounded by people, we found no opportunity to have a heart to heart. When it was time to leave, I gave her another tight hug and grinned all the way home.

Later that night, we spoke for a while. "I broke down many times today. That's why I kept going out of the room", she said. And then with the passing of each second, the twisted cruelty of it all stabbed me repeatedly.

I no longer believe that being similar is important. Or that finding these similarities is of any consequence.